My first birthday without hearing my dads voice is almost over. It has been a good day but I have had a heavy heart. I miss him so very much and I just keep wishing I could hear his voice one more time...
I spent most of the day outside in my garden, I planted some sweet peas and some sugar snap peas. I got all of my seeds in pots and in my front porch so they should be ready for the garden in May. Being outside made me feel better, my dad loved to be outside and I felt him with me. He never got a chance to see our garden after we took down our big patio fence...it was his idea. I guess he can see it from where he is now...at least I hope he can.
Well happy first day of spring everyone :) Hoping for sunny days soon.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
March 19th 2008
This was the day my dad told me he had lung cancer. I will never forget that day as it was the day before my birthday. My dad was in a terrible dilemma, he had just found out about his diagnosis and it was the day before my birthday. What should he do? How could he possibly wait until after my birthday to tell us...yet he knew telling me that day would likely make my birthday less enjoyable. I am glad he made the decision to tell me that day and he did not try to pretend all was well until after my birthday. This is my first birthday without my dad, I miss him so much. Last year he was so sick but he wanted to buy me a special gift. He had hoped to go shopping with me at his favorite little store in the town he lived but he could hardly get out of bed. So he told me to go and pick something...I bought a beautiful birdhouse. He gave me a card and told me how was lucky to have a daughter like me. The card makes me cry because his writing was so shaky...
I miss you Dad <3
I miss you Dad <3
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Signs from above...
I have always believed that when people leave this earth they send signs to their loved ones still here. I take notice of those signs and find great comfort in them. I know some people so not believe them and that is ok, I believe them and that is what matters to me.
My oldest child has had a few issues with being a minor in possession of alcohol(MIP). Just before his 21st birthday in Oct of last year he received his third MIP which violated his probation from a previous MIP. So in February he had to serve five days in jail in Ellensburg WA, which is a 3 hour drive from my house. I drove him there on a Friday and waited with him until they took him to book in. Then I walked out to my van and I cried. All the worst thoughts went through my head, a mother does not want to take their child to jail. As I drove away tears continued to fall...I looked ahead and I noticed two rainbows. They were big and bright and beautiful and I suddenly felt as though things would be ok. I picked my son up after he had served his time and brought him home. We got home and me and him and his brothers were sitting on the couch talking about his jail time. I looked out my living room window and there were two beautiful bright rainbows...and I knew...I absolutely knew it was a sign from above.
My oldest child has had a few issues with being a minor in possession of alcohol(MIP). Just before his 21st birthday in Oct of last year he received his third MIP which violated his probation from a previous MIP. So in February he had to serve five days in jail in Ellensburg WA, which is a 3 hour drive from my house. I drove him there on a Friday and waited with him until they took him to book in. Then I walked out to my van and I cried. All the worst thoughts went through my head, a mother does not want to take their child to jail. As I drove away tears continued to fall...I looked ahead and I noticed two rainbows. They were big and bright and beautiful and I suddenly felt as though things would be ok. I picked my son up after he had served his time and brought him home. We got home and me and him and his brothers were sitting on the couch talking about his jail time. I looked out my living room window and there were two beautiful bright rainbows...and I knew...I absolutely knew it was a sign from above.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
First game of the season
First of all let me just say that yesterday was one long day! I left the house at 6:30am to run to the store to pick up a few things for our soccer concession stand and I was on the go until 10pm....but it was sooo worth it!!
Blake's team played at 5pm, now Blake played soccer for the first time ever this past fall on a rec team. Last night he played his first Junior Varsity team and they started him in goal! Oh my!!! Blake has never played keeper before so we are all a bit nervous...ok a lot nervous! Being the parent of a goal keep is very stressful and I am not sure I could handle it for a full season! Blake did so well, he let in one goal in the first half and in the second half someone else was keeper. They ended up losing 3-2 but it was a pretty good game.
Kyle (Varsity) played at 7pm. This game was SO intense! The teams were pretty evenly matched at one point we were up 1-0, but the other team tied it up. In high school soccer they will not end in a tie, so we played two 5 minute overtime halves. Overtime is golden goal, so first goal wins. There were some very intense moments in the overtime halves but at the end it was still tied 1-1. So after overtime comes the penalty shootout...Let me tell you I can not even count how many times we have gone to penalty shootouts over the years...this is my 7th year with high school soccer and so many games end this way....and I have always had a kid who is one of our shooters. Andy was always one of the teams shooters and now Kyle is. When your kid is shooting it is so stressful! Even Andy who comes out to watch gets totally stressed when Kyle is shooting lol I tell him now you know what I went through all those years when you were doing it! Anyhow back to last nights game...it took eight penalty shots from each team before we won the game! Whew....stresss!!! But oh so exciting, what a way to start the season!
Blake's team played at 5pm, now Blake played soccer for the first time ever this past fall on a rec team. Last night he played his first Junior Varsity team and they started him in goal! Oh my!!! Blake has never played keeper before so we are all a bit nervous...ok a lot nervous! Being the parent of a goal keep is very stressful and I am not sure I could handle it for a full season! Blake did so well, he let in one goal in the first half and in the second half someone else was keeper. They ended up losing 3-2 but it was a pretty good game.
Kyle (Varsity) played at 7pm. This game was SO intense! The teams were pretty evenly matched at one point we were up 1-0, but the other team tied it up. In high school soccer they will not end in a tie, so we played two 5 minute overtime halves. Overtime is golden goal, so first goal wins. There were some very intense moments in the overtime halves but at the end it was still tied 1-1. So after overtime comes the penalty shootout...Let me tell you I can not even count how many times we have gone to penalty shootouts over the years...this is my 7th year with high school soccer and so many games end this way....and I have always had a kid who is one of our shooters. Andy was always one of the teams shooters and now Kyle is. When your kid is shooting it is so stressful! Even Andy who comes out to watch gets totally stressed when Kyle is shooting lol I tell him now you know what I went through all those years when you were doing it! Anyhow back to last nights game...it took eight penalty shots from each team before we won the game! Whew....stresss!!! But oh so exciting, what a way to start the season!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Whew...life!
Well I have a few minutes so thought I'd just do a quick life update :)
It's March now which means spring is just around the corner! At least I hope it is, we have had some weird weather recently including snow. Anyhow I am hoping to get some seeds started for my garden this weekend. Hoping for some dry weather soon too so I can actually go work in my garden and get it ready for planting.
Around here spring also means my birthday and anniversary, looking forward to those days. But this year spring will also bring some hard times in my life. Josh's birthday is this month, and that is going to be a very difficult day for us. I am trying to think of something special I can do for Blake and Josh's mom on that day. My dad's birthday is coming up too and so is the one year anniversary of his death. Both will be very difficult days. I am planning to be with my sister on the anniversary of his death, we are going to go to the Hospice House where he spent his last days and spend some time in the beautiful garden there.
Ok, enough doom and gloom on to the busy things in my life! Andy and Kyle are both playing on an adult league soccer team right now, their season started last weekend. Kyle is also playing Varsity soccer for high school and Blake is playing Junior Varsity soccer. Their first games are on March 14th! Can't wait :) :) Blake will also be starting baseball soon, looking forward to that too. I am still working my reduced hours...well actually I am working more lol but supposed to be working 27.5 hrs per week. My online classes started on Feb 28th, so am just finishing up my first week. I just got my first assignment feedback and received 100%! I am very pleased about that. I submitted my first assignment for my second class this morning and am hoping for a good grade on it as well.
Well think that's about it for the moment! Enjoy spring everyone :)
Oh! Almost forgot, yesterday I got my hair cut off!! I am donating it to Locks of Love, my new hair is soooo short but its cute and I like it.
It's March now which means spring is just around the corner! At least I hope it is, we have had some weird weather recently including snow. Anyhow I am hoping to get some seeds started for my garden this weekend. Hoping for some dry weather soon too so I can actually go work in my garden and get it ready for planting.
Around here spring also means my birthday and anniversary, looking forward to those days. But this year spring will also bring some hard times in my life. Josh's birthday is this month, and that is going to be a very difficult day for us. I am trying to think of something special I can do for Blake and Josh's mom on that day. My dad's birthday is coming up too and so is the one year anniversary of his death. Both will be very difficult days. I am planning to be with my sister on the anniversary of his death, we are going to go to the Hospice House where he spent his last days and spend some time in the beautiful garden there.
Ok, enough doom and gloom on to the busy things in my life! Andy and Kyle are both playing on an adult league soccer team right now, their season started last weekend. Kyle is also playing Varsity soccer for high school and Blake is playing Junior Varsity soccer. Their first games are on March 14th! Can't wait :) :) Blake will also be starting baseball soon, looking forward to that too. I am still working my reduced hours...well actually I am working more lol but supposed to be working 27.5 hrs per week. My online classes started on Feb 28th, so am just finishing up my first week. I just got my first assignment feedback and received 100%! I am very pleased about that. I submitted my first assignment for my second class this morning and am hoping for a good grade on it as well.
Well think that's about it for the moment! Enjoy spring everyone :)
Oh! Almost forgot, yesterday I got my hair cut off!! I am donating it to Locks of Love, my new hair is soooo short but its cute and I like it.
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